Sunday, November 13, 2011

12. Advice Advice!


First time parents find themselves short of time, space, sleep and sex. But there is one thing they won’t find themselves short of – advice. From the aaya in the hospital, to the stranger in the road, to your over-paid maid; everyone will have at-least one advice for you. Luckily you can easily ignore their advice. It is the advice from your close friends and families that you will find hard to ignore. And you know what is worse? Two mothers together, with totally opposite advices. Yes you are trapped, you have reached the limit of your temper and you are about to burst. Your ego might make you want to shout, ‘It is our child, you have had your share of parenting, let us have ours’. That's exactly how we felt.

Take a deep breath, relax, and ask yourself; what is more important, your ego or your child? Anger never helps; respecting your parents is a way of ensuring that your child learns to respect you. Your parent’s advice only means they care. Moreover, some of their advices are really worth listening, for others there is a simple trick. This is where your doctor comes to rescue.  Tell them that the doctor told you not to do it. It always works! Sometimes a lie is worth a thousand truth.

Listen to all advices and cleverly use your veto power to rule out the horrible ones. At the end it is your instincts that matter, even more than your logic. In the last post I wished if babies came with instruction manual. Truth is they do. It is already implanted in the brains of the parents. Listen to it and believe it even more than the doctor’s advice, because doctor’s advice change with time, space and society. During the feminist movements doctors advised bottle and formula feeding. Now with the green movements and movements to go back to nature, breastfeeding is back on agenda. There was a time when doctors advised to let the babies sleep on their tummies so that they don’t choke, now they advice that they must sleep on their back. There was a time when oil message was mandatory for babies, now they advice to avoid it. You see what I mean?

Every baby is different; everyone grows at their own pace. Different advice works for different babies. Listen to yourself and find the one that suites your baby best. Here is the end of my advice. Use your veto power to over-rule it if you like.

35 comments:

  1. wow...isn't this a wonderful space for all parents?:-)
    i always use the "doctor has told me this" waala excuse whenever i want to enforce my will...

    anyways, with time you realize what works for your child and what does not...it is just in the initial stages that you go around asking for advice...in the later stages you go around giving them(like me here)

    and oil massages aren't good now? really?:/

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  2. What an exciting phase! Loved the line "It is already planted in the brains of parents!" They know by 'default' what is good for their kid don't they? Loved it Sub :)

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  3. Dr Spock helps...have you bought your copy yet?

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  4. Listen to the advice and then, it's up to you whether you want to follow them or not :)

    Your blog name brought me here, and I was eager to check what you have in it :)

    Good luck on being a Daddy :)
    Take Care!

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  5. Advice is something no-one falls short of, in any situation.
    It's great you learnt the filtering trick. :)

    Hope Hridhima is doing great.

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  6. Nice tips to tackle parents. But have ur parents read it!

    Nice post!

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  7. Trust your instincts for sure, but this should apply to listening to sage advice too. Sometimes I feel that doctors these days are reading more western methods of doing things and advice that. But traditional wisdom still holds good most of the time. All the best :)

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  8. Congrats on being a daddy! Yes, the advice issue is common but the baby knows best and shows to his parent’s best.

    http://www.pfinusa.com
    http://www.pfinusa.blogspot.com

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. Oh yes, I got a lot of advice. Especially since the whole breastfeeding thing wasn't working out. I had people tell me to quit, while others were telling me how to have Mica latch on. We got breastfeeding to work, FINALLY! Then I had people telling me how long I should breastfeed.

    The best baby advice I got was from my own mom. She said, "Try and sleep when the baby is sleeping. The dishes/tasks can wait." She also told me, "When you get home from the hospital, keep your pajamas on. People will see that you are tired and won't stay as long." She was right. They stayed long enough to see the baby, ask how I was doing and left.

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  11. i Am missing one thing hridhima's cute pic.every parent should take a lesson from u. u r d 2nd best daddy he he.

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  12. i hardly had anyone to advice! except of course the maid (overpaid - hahah) & stranger on road types! so had to rely totally on mother's instincts which was good & worked

    oil massages are advised against now? didn't know that. i thought they were good

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  13. @Suruchi: it works wonders...
    doc was like,"u really want to message? if u insist, do not use mustard oil or johnson baby oil... message very lightly without putting too much pressure"....

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  14. @Purba: sounds Spooky...is it good?

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  15. @♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫: yep...thanks so much for coming here...

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  16. @Janhvi: Oh, she is...thanks so much :)

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  17. @Neeraj Kumar: i hope they haven't :))

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  18. @zephyr: true...thanks so much :)

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  19. @alissa4illustration: yea...it sometimes get's irritating :) thanks

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  20. @some unspoken words: lol...thanks :))

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  21. @Sujatha Sathya: u were lucky :)

    not banned, but not recommended either :)

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  22. :D Advice dene ke haq to hamare khoon main hai Sub :D

    You bet! This must have been hard to ignore, everyone with their anecdotes, hamara time and what not....shoosh! But as you said, you do want to be respectful to parents...so, chose some ignore some. I like the Doc told so bit too :)

    Please to share the text of this post on Khoj?
    The link attached.
    Appeal for Irfan

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  23. Yes, you have to find your own way, together with the baby :)

    Take a look here:

    http://www.egedenne.com/2011/11/introduser-din-blogg.html

    and join if you want :)

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  24. You have been tagged here : http://jojofeelings.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/award-from-me/

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  25. Check out my blog
    You have been awarded there
    http://theothersideofme88.blogspot.com/

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  26. haha being a first time parents is a beautiful experience. One important key success to anything is "communication" communicate with each other and understand the needs and wants

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  27. @TheBluntBlogger: so true :)...thanks

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  28. @Ege: thanks so much....will check

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  29. @jojofeelings and the other side of me: thanks soo soo much....glad u like my blog...it's your love that inspires me to write :)

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  30. @Linhy: so true...thanks for dropping by :)

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  31. Not only on parenting, people are ever ready to give advice on anything and everything. Hope its going fine for the two of you.

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  32. Sh@s: true....oh, life's been great for 3 of us :)...thanks :)

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  33. Nice post. Our one is 11 months now. Initially we also felt the same :)

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